Quarter Century

Image by Magnific

25 years ago, I moved from Orlando do LA. It’s easily the longest I’ve lived anywhere. You make a lot of memories living in LA. The ones that tend to stick are star-sightings and strange work stories. Here are 25 random memories of my time here in no particular order:

1. My first celebrity sighting was on the day I got into town. My friend Blake picked me up at the airport and after lunch with friends, he was driving down Sunset Blvd, taking me to my new home. I was exhausted, looking out the window, when I saw a tall, charismatic man walk out of a doorway and start strolling down the sidewalk alone. Immediately, a bunch of young guys in suits bolted out the door and raced to catch up…to Jesse Jackson.

2. My first job ever in Los Angeles was a corporate gig in Palm Springs with my improv brother Will. We got there, ready to rehearse with our clients, when they said, “We run lines at the pool!” We indeed rehearsed while laying out on lounge chairs. Later, Will and I were standing waist-deep in the pool, drinking fruity cocktails, both of us with smiles that said,“This doesn’t suck.”

3. Even though I’d spent years doing improv in Orlando, I never once worked at Disney. Three weeks to the day after I moved here, I got a job at Disney California Adventure as Captain Rustworthy. I would do a one-man show for kids in front of a play area that looked like a pirate ship with water cannons kids could shoot at one another. I remember one show where all the kids charged into the play area except for one shy kid. I looked at him, in my ridiculous captain costume with lobsters on my shoulders, and said, “Get in there!” He shouted, “Yes, Captain!” and raced into the play area and happily got drenched. They paid me money to do this. It was a really fun job.

4. One day, Will and I were walking along Ventura Blvd (close to where I live now), when he glanced into an art store and said, “Leonardo DiCaprio’s in there.” So we went in and browsed posters, while listening to Leo and his model girlfriend negotiate pricing for a big order. Best quote: “Baby, we’re gonna frame this one up dope!”

5. I was pretty new to LA when I got invited to a script reading at the apartment of a writer with a famous celebrity brother. I got there early and the only other person there was a young actress from a successful indie movie that I loved. I was a bit starstruck as we chatted about our time in LA. She said she was learning how to do hair so she could pay the bills while trying to make a living as an actress. This was someone I’d seen and admired on the big screen, acting opposite big stars, but it still wasn’t a full-time gig for her. That conversation taught me a lot about what it takes to make it in LA.

6. Everyone has their 9/11 story, this was mine. After staying up all night doing post on a film I was making, I came home and got an hour of sleep before I was awakened by a call from my manager, saying there had been an attack. I woke up my roommate, who had a family member in the military, and she leapt out of bed to call her mother. I was numb for the rest of the day, and eventually ended up at my friend Rob’s place. A group of us watched O’ Brother Where Art Thou, but I couldn’t say if I liked it or not. It was the worst possible condition to watch anything, and to this day, I’ve never wanted to try watching it again.

7. Early in my career, I pitched on a feature OWA to superstar producer Mark Gordon. It was late afternoon on a Friday, and after a promising start, my pitch got bogged down in too much detail and he fell asleep in his chair. Two lessons learned: 1) never pitch late on a Friday and 2) pitch better.

8. Nearly six years to the day after moving to Los Angeles, I went into my attorney’s office to sign two Lionsgate deals: adapting an unreleased video game into a film script (along with The Air I Breathe co-writer/director Jieho Lee) AND the option agreement for my script Five Killers (which would be shot and released as Killers). That was a really good day.

9. Once I was standing in line at Office Depot and I recognized the guy in front of me. I complimented Tim DeKay on his new hit show, White Collar. He was super thankful, and asked me if I was in the business. I told him my second movie was coming out soon, and he congratulated me. We had no idea that in a few years, I would be a writer on his show.

10. I’ve always been a fan of Ken Watanabi (Batman Begins) and for a short period of time, he was attached to be in The Air I Breathe. Jieho and I drove to his office near the beach where we sat with him and his assistant, discussing his take on the character and some possible script changes. When the meeting was over, he reached over to a pretty box, tied with a ribbon, that was sitting on the table. He pulled the ribbon, and the box opened, revealing a selection of pastries. His assistant handed out plates and forks, and we all enjoyed the sweet treats. Ken would end up having to leave our movie to work with Clint Eastwood (can you blame him?) but I’ll never forget the best ending to a meeting ever.

11. I took a workshop from the late-great Sam Christensen years ago and he would host these monthly follow-ups where students would gather at his studio and Sam would chat about some interesting topic. Once I went and sat next to a blonde actress. We chatted, she was super nice. It was horror-icon Amanda Wyss, better known as Freddy’s very first victim in Nightmare on Elm Street.

12. Once I was going to Walgreens and there was a little entryway inside where I bottlenecked with a mother and her teenaged daughter. I gave them an “after you’ motion. The mom smiled at me and walked in, followed by her daughter, Ellie Fanning.

13. I was in the middle of a general meeting with a TV exec at the top of a high-rise somewhere near Culver City when an earthquake shook the building. We swayed a bit, and the exec was pretty freaked out. We were okay. Years later, she would champion a spec pilot I’d written for some producers, based on an upcoming comic book. Right after we closed the deal, but before contracts were signed, she left the company and the project died. Not even our shared earthquake experience could save that one.

14. For my second time pitching superstar producer Mark Gordon, I brought an original TV idea. This was after weeks of developing the idea with two of his top execs. It was a spy show and about two minutes into my pitch, Mark asked who were the bad guys? I paused and said sheepishly, “Bad spies?” He lectured me on what makes a good TV show and sent me on my way. I never pitched him again.

15. I’ve had exactly one director meeting where the director did not wear a shirt. I probably shouldn’t say who it was, but I’ll give you a hint: he’s a rock star who fronts a big rap-metal band from Florida. (It was Fred Durst.)

16. I developed a couple of projects with actor Topher Grace. Once he called me out of the blue to say hey. I asked where he was and he said he was in a make-up chair, covered in fake blood, in the midst of shooting Predators.

17. I ran into legendary screenwriter (and now director) Shane Black at a WGA event. I reminded him that years before, we’d hung out for a while at the Florida Film Festival. I was in the middle of this story when he said, “Excuse me, but I have to go talk to that hot girl.” He then gave me a big bear hug, and walked over and started chatting up a pretty blonde. I’ve been blown-off before at parties and events, but this will always be my favorite time.

18. During the pandemic shut-down, I was working in my office when I looked out the window and saw a dog run under my wife’s car, followed by a guy who was chasing it. We went out to see what was going on. Turns out the guy was just out walking when he saw a stray dog and had been trying to catch it for blocks. The dog took off and he raced after it. I asked my wife: “Was that the guy from Upload?” She said it was. So as Robbie Ammell gave chase, my wife got in her car and followed. She ended up helping catch the dog and we took her in for a couple days. We couldn’t find her owner, so a friend who volunteers at a local shelter helped get her adopted. And that’s the story of how my wife and Robbie Ammell saved a dog.

19. I was sitting at my local coffee bean, drinking coffee and reading a script, when two teenaged girls walked in. Suddenly, both doorways were flooded with paparazzi who took pictures as the girls ordered. A photographer leaned in, accidentally nudging me, and he politely whispered an apology. After they got their drinks, the two girls got in a car and drove away, and all the photographers hopped into multiple vehicles and followed them. It was Miley Cyrus and a friend.

20. My wife and I were in line at Aroma, one of our favorite brunch places near our home. There were only a few menus, so after we ordered, my wife took a couple and handed them to the two guys standing behind us. It was Matt Smith (post Doctor Who) and Nathan Fillion.

21. My friend Ben and I were heading to the old Sacred Fools spot on Heliotrope to see the NYE Fast & Loose show. My wife Jen was in it, and Ben’s wife Alicia was directing. The police had blocked off the street and told us there was a manhunt in the neighborhood for a murderer. We could go into the theater, but we couldn’t come out until the killer was caught. Both our wives were already in the building so what choice did we have? We went in and saw the show, having no idea if we’d have to spend the night there or not. By the time we got out, the police were gone. That means they caught the killer, right? RIGHT?!

22. Years ago, my wife’s sister visited with her husband and kids. They were only here for a couple days, but the kids really wanted to see a celebrity. We took them on a hike where we could see the Hollywood sign and on the way back down, a big dog ran up to say hello. All the kids gave him pets until his owner came up, her hair tucked under a baseball hat. She gave me a smile, and they walked off. And that’s how we all met Emily Blunt’s dog.

23. When I lived in Burbank, I remember approaching my local Starbucks and sitting outside on the patio was what looked like a middle-aged group of punk rockers having a band meeting. One of them looked me dead in the eye and I realized it was Rancid.

24. Ben and I were hired to write an episode of the Wondery horror-anthology show “I Hear Fear” which featured Oscar-nominee Carrie Mulligan as the narrator. Our challenge was creating a story about a cursed movie set that Carrie would tell as if it had actually happened to her. We never met Carrie, never had any idea of what she thought of our little tale that she passed off as true-life. The closest we got was listening to her read the credits on our episode. Her lovely voice saying, “Written by Bob DeRosa and Ben Rock” was a treat, indeed.

25. I was at the same Starbucks where I saw Rancid when Kim Shattuck (the lead singer of The Muffs) walked by. I had just seen them perform for the first time and blurted, “I have a picture of you on my phone!” She looked at the pic I took at the concert (on a FLIP PHONE), and said, “It’s blurry.” I ended up bumping into her around Burbank from time to time, and we became Facebook friends, sharing recommendations for good diner breakfasts. She was building a photography porftolio and asked to photograph me. I wore a fun band shirt and a stupid grin. I saw her perform many times over the years. I’d see her at shows and she always greeted me with a big hug (she was way tall). Tragically, she passed away from ALS a few years ago. I (and her many, many fans) miss her dearly. I was a fan but she treated me a like a friend, something I’ll never forget.

That’s 25 memories for a quarter-century. There are so many more involving my wife, our pets, our friends. Tons of theater, audio shows, meetings, jobs that fell apart, jobs that paid off. Moments where I was on top of the world, and others that broke my heart into a million pieces.

I don’t know how long I’ll be in this town, but LA will always be a part of me. Moving here changed my life for the better and I’ll always be grateful for this crowded, hot, crazy city where it seems like everyone’s a dreamer.

Sometimes this is a place where dreams come to die. Other times, it’s the land where dreams really do come true. Day to day, it’s hard to know which LA you’re getting - the dream killer or the dream creator. I lean toward the positive, I always do. But it takes a thick skin to make it in LA as a creative, for one year or twenty five.

Me, I’m heading into year twenty-six with a body of work and a hope for the future. I’ll let you know how it goes.