Dreaming of Sundance (and other things)
When I first moved to LA, nearly 25 years ago, I had the same dreams that many new screenwriters have. I wanted to sell a script for a bunch of money. Work with movie stars. Walk the red carpet at a premiere for a movie I wrote. And here’s the thing:
My dreams came true.
Not all at once. But over time, I checked all those boxes. It felt really good.
So I started coming up with new dreams. I wanted to create a hit TV show. Start a production company with my first manager. Walk the stage at the Eccles Theater (the biggest venue at the Sundance Film Festival) with the cast & crew of a movie I wrote.
Well.
My TV career crashed and burned. My relationship with my first manager crashed and burned. And as for the Eccles? Well, this is gonna be the last ever Sundance Film Festival in Park City, UT. Next year, the fest moves to Boulder, Colorado. I’m sure there will be some Eccles-like venue there and someday, if I’m very fortunate, maybe I’ll get to go there with a movie I’ve written.
But that very specific dream I had of doing a Q&A at the Eccles is never gonna happen. I’ll never get to explain how when I was scouting movies for the Florida Film Festival back in the day, I would sit in the Eccles audience and dream of being on stage. I’ll never give a shout-out to everyone in the upper balcony seating, which is where I always used to sit. Sitting up there felt like an insider secret, an easy way to get a seat with a good view, even though you’d never get to ask a question during Q&A’s because who looks up there? Well, I woulda. But alas, not to be.
As dying dreams go, that’s a pretty small one. But I feel time passing. Sundance is moving. The film business is contracting. The whole world feels like it’s shifting.
Maybe some will say, hey, I had some dreams come true. Give someone else a shot. That’s fair. We all have dreams, and honestly, I believe there’s enough space for all of them to come true. But what often happens is people realize that pursuing dreams is hard work. Choices get made. Things are prioritized. Life gets in the way.
And honestly, dreams change over time.
Back in Orlando, I used to dream of being a writer/director. But that dream changed when I realized writing is where my heart was. When my comedy troupe THEM was enjoying a lot of success, we used to dream of getting our own TV show. We took some shots, but it never panned out.
When I look back, I realize my dreams have been constantly evolving. Now I’m older, with more than a couple wins under my belt. And my dreams are different now.
I’d love to make a movie with my often-collaborator Ben Rock. And have my play Gifted performed in cities around the world. And now that I’m writing fiction, I dream of going on a book tour and seeing my book for sale in far-away bookshops.
Dreaming is one of the things that makes us human. We aspire. We long for things. We can dream of a better world for us, the people we love, for everyone really.
I’ll never stop dreaming. Not until my last breath. And when times are tough and it feels like nothing’s working out, I’ll pick a dream that came true. A good one.
And remind myself that anything is possible.
Like when we wrapped production on The Air I Breathe. It was a crazy last day. We showed up in downtown Mexico City for a street shoot, only to find that they’d paved the streets that day and we couldn’t shoot right away. So we adjusted, shot some other stuff. Eventually, we got the street shot we needed and when my co-writer/director Jieho called cut for the last time, a party broke out. Everyone was so happy. Brendan Fraser hugged me and said, “Thanks for writing a great script, man!” I was in a daze. I looked over at my manager CP, who was a producer on the film.
“Your dream came true,” he said, softly.
“What do you mean?”
“When you first moved to LA, I asked what your dream was. And you said, you wanted a movie star to thank you for writing a great script. And it just happened.”
I didn’t even remember having that dream. But it was a moment I’ll never forget. And a great reminder. Dreams come true.
Even on the freshly paved streets of Mexico City.